It's More Blessed to Give

This week has been a tough week in some ways. I can remember when my girls were little and we were having a hard day. (They are 17 months apart and though it's great in some ways, it was still hard when they were little). I remember thinking I can't wait until they're old enough to go to school! Well, that day came on Monday, Aug. 9th. I waved good-bye to them on the school bus and broke into tears. Really this is the first time they have been gone all day. Emma did a half day program for Kindergarten last year so I had her home by noon everyday.

It's hard to put into words the emotional struggle I've had with it. I guess for almost 7 years I have been able to monitor them, watch over them, protect them, know what they were eating, make sure they were getting enough rest...etc. I was able to grasp those teachable moments with them and shepherd their hearts. In some ways, I could control their environment. On Monday they stepped onto the school bus at 7:30am and entered another world. A world that I can't control. A world in which I can't protect them from. It broke my heart.

The good news is that my God loves them more than me and they actually belong to Him. I truly had to surrender them to Him and trust Him to protect them. And also, trust that everything Happy and I have taught them will equip them for school. It's scary knowing that they are now under the influence of others more than their family during the week. I've had serious doubts of whether or not this has been the best decision. I believe God has given me a peace about it, but I still have my moments. I understand that one of the goals of parenting is raising a responsible adult and in order to have a responsible adult you have to let them go at some point. I've just wondered if First Grade and Kindergarten were too early.

So my prayer for them has been something like this, "God may they be true to themselves and true to You. May they remember what they have been taught. Use them for Your glory. They are Yours. May they be a blessing to others". Today I got to see a little answer to that prayer. I went and had lunch with Myah. She began to tell me that she received some care cash today. (I guess care cash is something you get when you have obeyed, done something good...etc.) She said that one of her friends was sad because she didn't get any care cash and put her head down. Myah told me I thought about it for a minute and then I remembered what you always say, "it's more blessed to give than to receive", and I gave her my care cash. I almost broke into tears in the lunch room. I was encouraged today.

So, I will continue to commit them to His care everyday and thank Him for the incredible privilege it is to be their mommy. I know it's going to be hard at times, but I also know where I can go to find peace and comfort. Thank you God for loving Your children!